Max Kessler's Merchandise



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Producing marketable software has become extremely difficult lately due to the abundance of free software. Unfortunately that means having to branch off into non-software ventures. One of my ventures is designing merchandise for CafePress to sell. Here are my shops:

Political

  • Debt 2 Society — It's April 15th.  Have you paid your debt to society?
  • No Rochester Curfew — Merchandise to show opposition to Rochester's curfew for children and young adults.
  • Patriot Act — Tell everybody what the "PATRIOT" Act really stands for: "Providing Abusive Tools to Ruthless Intrusive Omnivagant Tyrants"
  • Void by Law — Features the Bill of Rights with "VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW" superimposed over it, courtesy of the PATRIOT Act.
  • No Laundered Money Campaigns — There is a movement beginning to take hold in America to use the taxing power of government to launder money to political campaigns. Supporters call this, "clean money," because they believe the free exercise of political speech is, "dirty."
  • Don't phase me bro! — Yet another parody of Andrew Meyer's "Don't tase me bro!" This one features a hand phaser.
  • Stop Capitulatin' — Stop capitulatin. If you want to live in a safe community, you have to make it safe.
  • Oppose Bob Barr — The voting delegates to the Libertarian Party National Convention made a serious error by nominating long time fascist and current LINO Bob Barr for President.
  • None Of The Above — The lesser of two evils is evil.  So is the least of three evils.

Computer Geek

  • CyberMan Software — This was my first shop.  It contains mostly CyberMan Software logo merchandise.
  • Descent of Net — ARPANET > Internet > WWW > "Coaster of the Month" ISP > Television ISP (Due to trademark restrictions I cannot name the "Coaster of the Month" ISP or the ISP that lets users connect using their televisions.)
  • Descent of UI — Switches/Lights > Punch Cards > Keyboard > Mouse > Taskbar
  • Hardware Engineers vs Software Engineers — Hardware engineer --- (noun) Person who makes computers faster.  Software engineer --- (noun) Person who makes computers slower.
  • Too Modded — This shop is dedicated to those special individuals who modify their computers way beyond what most people would consider "reasonable." All merchandise features a penguin peeling out in a drag racing computer with a reflective, green case.
  • CMS Hard Drive Shredder — How clean is that hard drive you're about to sell/discard/recycle? Shred the data first with CMS hard drive shredder.

Miscellaneous

  • No Holiday — Tell everybody how you really feel about having some holiday forced upon you. Note that this is not anti-Christian. It is against the specific act of forcing their holiday on you with phrases like, "merry christmas," and, "happy holiday."
  • No Holiday 1 — During this "holiday season" show your discontent over "happy holidays", "merry Christmas", and those annoying bell ringers.
Merchandise




"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure."
— Thomas Jefferson


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Copyright ©2008 by Max Kessler
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.