With all due apologies to the late Lesley Gore:

On June 14, 2025, Alleged President (Ref: US Constitution, Article of Amendment 14, Section 3) Donald Trump spent tens of millions of dollars of our money to throw himself a birthday party, to which practically nobody showed up. He thought it would be a grandiose event with huge numbers of soldiers goose stepping in sync, because their lives depend on it, such as the case in North Korea, Communist China, Nazi Germany, or the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. Instead, he got what he deserves: people walking and holding Chinese made drones over their heads. He deserved the let down, but we the people do not deserve the tax bill for it. That event should be billed to The Trump Organization for the expense of attempting to stroke his fragile ego.
☑ waste — unnecessary spending
☑ fraud — pretending to be about honoring the US Army
☑ abuse — ordering the US Army to celebrate his birthday